Intuition

SO I am finally on a pretty solid sleep schedule now. I wake up between 2:00 and 4:30 am. its rad i have plenty of time to go and run and get things done that i get easily distracted from during the day. id say im on a roll with everything right now and its rad.

SOmething ive realized today is that i spend most of my time writing . i spend more time writing then anything else i do and i have a pretty large daily agenda. but all the things that i want to do or have happen just come to me so much easier almost effortlessly.

Also I found the guitar of my dreams and im about to buy it off ebay! so stoked its THE ONE #2 :)

Everything is right around the corner :)

My little cousin just came into my room and sung me a Hannah Montana song. For some reason it struck a chord in me. A pretty chord. i love feeling good. i loved planned rewards and i love surprises even more. Seriously everything is as good as I let go to be. and just surrender myself to nothingness.

Looking so forward to this next year. Ive got the right friends and family that will always fill my void when ever i seem lost, even if we haven't been around each-other in months, Ive got the right mind set ive got the right connections that ive built with people over the last 6 years and ive got the most solid drummer and best friend on the face of planet that id do anything for and ive got the right books with the answers to guide to anything and everything as long as I set them.

awwww hell yes. :)

Very Relieved

Justin just got dropped of at my house by MCMB from cornerstone and I feel like its fucking christmas. I feel like Jesus himself came down with a new fender red 60s stratocaster with a black pick guard and a Floyd rose and said hey "DOOD i thought you'd like one of these wanna get some coffee? its on me." For the passed like two weeks ive been really sick which may have to do with my low state of mind but ive been feeling a lot better, physically anyway, still with this blank haze hanging around me. But as soon as i saw him i realized that all these things ive been wanting and planning and thinking about are about to happen. Its time to get the fuck up and become this machine of a person that ive been creating since my grandma died and catherine broke up. ive kept myself away from everything for some time now which has been really hard and even depressing, but it really has done me alot of good. the same things that use to interest me so much like going out and causing a shit load of trouble just dont even appeal to me anymore. i dont have any room for mistakes. i feel like im on thin ice with everything right now but i also know that im completely in control and now im solid as ever. and im ready to right an entire record between me and justin with absolutely no doubt that my time hard work love and dedication to this art will be rewarded back to me soon. sooner then me or anybody will ever think.

Gratitude to Somebody Special

You are the only one strong enough to hold the sun to such a height

for all of its light to shine for all to see

but more importantly,

the endless possibilities of me.

thanks you :)